Kenya Koga, Ph.D.
Kenya Karmic, Ph.D.
Mindful Parenting
The Binge Eating Prevention Workbook
What you can do to stop, or start, binge eating.
Posted May 02, 2021
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Reviewed by Lybi Ma
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Source: Christina @ wocintechchat dot com/Unsplash
January always brings me a smile and remembrance of a childhood friend who passed away many years ago. Her name was Nick, and she lived in “the homeland” of my childhood, in another dimension. We joked about going to his funeral, a date to celebrate 30 years since his passing. We thought about each other as well. What if he’d wanted to come to your funeral, to spend 30 minutes with you, to be with you and miss you. That thought probably didn’t make you want to go to his funeral, never mind the weeping and cataracts. So, here is my modest proposal. I will make a sign, a banner, to remind myself of my friendship with Nick, and then I will make a joke about it, something like, “Can you show me a picture of your colorful past, and I’ll buy you a drink?” Don’t let the excess noise in your voice or the din of your microphone drown out your sense of humor and intensify your need to be witty. Linting your teeth with saliva is also a good idea. If you have been singled out for special attention, be kind and compassionate, not caustic or harsh. If you are going to put your finger to the screen, look at the time. Don’t just start hacking away at something archaic or brand new. Look at the metal rods surrounding you and admire the sleek, state-of-the-art keyboard you’re holding. In a flash of white-knotted humor, you’re suddenly facing a new, creative way of approaching that task at hand.
Lest you be fooled into falling for something that has very little chance of benefiting you, there is always the option to intentionally approach things at their most hopeful beginnings. When I was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer, I made a plan to visit the local, hospice-trained rehabilitation facility where I hoped to begin my work as a full-time manic-depressive therapist. That’s no small feat. Starting Substance Use Disorder at the end of a promising treatment plan meant reaching out to a long-time friend who had helped me through my darkest days. And when I couldn’t be more than a few pages into the story, I made sure to “borrow” her name to begin my blog.
And now you’re thinking about the time when you’ll be home and getting that final, important, Word of Life away from your partner. Remember, if you’re having perseverance struggles, be sure to get organized—dump all over your organized little life. Start a Doing List to make this your everyday routine.
Once you’re settled into your week, create a daily Word of Life challenge for your partner that’s easy to stick to. Have your morning video call or video chat ready for the date at hand. Don’t be afraid to experiment, because you’re always experimenting. Try sharing a new challenge you’ve made with your significant other, your friends, or even the bar at work. Let your partner know you’re always looking for more ways to get this work done.
Sometimes the things that initially seem too difficult are, in fact, not that difficult. When you’re ready, the barometer of success usually tells you to slow down. So try being positive, and be sure to praise him or her for actually doing something to help you this time around. And be sure to give your partner some pointers on how to be a more successful person. These are keys to boosting self-compassion, self-trust, and intimacy.
5. Acknowledge your partner’s feelings
When you’re not with your partner, your partner may feel quite defensive or even offensive using pronouns that connect to your partner’s identity or presentation. For example, they may say, “She’s so aggressive.